The Shakespeare's a Lie

On the first day of my Senior year, I had English class. Naturally, I learned about Shakespeare. And what I learned about Shakespeare was that Shakespeare ever existed. The man who wrote all of those famous plays and poems existed, obviously, sure, but he wasn't the person we think we know him to be.

(Not him)

Behold, I reveal the truth!

...

Actually, I'm not going to. I don't care that much that "Shakespeare" was a pen name. If you do, then I'll be content with the fact that I just gave you something to look up.

What I'm REALLY excited to talk about is Hamlet. Yes, that's right, Hamlet. But not just any Hamlet. The 2009 production of Hamlet. The version of Hamlet where David Tennant plays Hamlet.

"Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me. You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me. "

Now this may be because I'm extremely unfamiliar with actors, but I cannot think of a better person to play Hamlet than David Tennant. The energy he puts into it is clear throughout the entire three hour long play. In fact, the entire cast was wonderful. I was a bit skeptical at first about the modernization of this film, but I'm incredibly happy with the way everything was set up. It all ended up working nicely.

"I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams. " The T-Shirt and jeans are to make sure I can be comfortable in the nutshell. At least I'll be able to look cool in my nightmares.

I'm still trying to figure out some of the extra symbolism in various things the director decided to put in the movie, though. Some bits of scenes throughout the film are shown as if through a video camera. I have no idea what that's supposed to symbolize, but seeing the film was made by a bunch of Shakespeare fanatics, I'm sure there's some kind of meaning. I'm pretty sure the barefoot thing has to do with Hamlet's insanity. Or perhaps some kind of lacking in defenses. After he first sees the ghost of his father, he doesn't wear shoes unless he's outside. Even at at the play, while everyone was in formal dress (even he, himself, was wearing a tux) failed to put on even socks. Ophelia, when she loses it, also has no shoes on.

Crazy people like to feel the wind between their toes.

It probably helps that I like the story of Hamlet already. My interest in this movie might also come from the fact that David Tennant plays as The Doctor in Doctor Who for three seasons. It might just have to do with this scene:



Or perhaps this one:



I have to say, though, that the ending was extremely anti-climactic. After watching the same movie for hours, I expected more. Honestly? The death of the King? Lame. Lame, lame, lame. Basically, Hamlet DEMANDS the king drink the poison that killed his mother. And the king does a partial shrug, makes a "eh, whatever" face and does it without a fuss. And then everyone else dies... which is weird because the scene failed to give me the impression that everyone was mortally wounded. Three hours of watching everything play out and after a few brief minutes, before I even understood what was happening, the room was full of dead people.

Overall, I'm thrilled. Because you know that in English class, when we talk about this book, I'm going to think of David Tennant. And I'm going to giggle like a little fangirl.

How's that for nerdy?

"That is the question."

What Einstein Told His Cook

Behold. The egg.

A cook's best friend. With this ingredient, you can create any meal. It's natural. It's healthy. It's awesome.

In fact, what makes the egg so interesting is that you can do so many things with it. It's pretty amazing that people figured out all these different uses. Cooking, in general, is actually very complicated. It's an art. In order to get, say, egg whites to solidify, you need to do more than just whip the egg. Conditions have to be met.

What are these conditions, you ask? Well why don't you find out yourself?































Books like these make me happy (and it isn't just because eggs are on the covers of all three of them).

I feel like cooking has lost so much over the years. Especially here in America. You've noticed it too. Take, for instance, the cooking channel. What do you see? Shows about how to cook ~Fast and Easy Meals~ It's all over the internet, it's all over the television, it's all over our cookbooks and supermarkets... Everyone wants to know how they can get out of cooking for their family without looking bad. It's become less about having a nice meal and more about how to save time- Which is all fine and dandy, what with jobs and soccer practice taking priority over what's going in your body, but I feel like there's a lot not mentioned outside of nutrition labels.

I think more people would cook for their families if they could do it right. If they knew that you could put loads of lime and tomatoes and other liquidy things into avocado to make guacamole without making it get watery, I bet more people would make it. Especially if they knew that it tastes better than the dehydrated stuff they've been getting out of a sealed bag in the supermarket. If people knew that the reason they can't get egg whites to solidify is because their whipping it in a plastic bowl, maybe they'd make more chocolate mousse.

Not to mention that it's beneficial to know why saturated fats are bad for you. It shouldn't be enough to just know that they are. It's essential to know how ingredients react with each other, and how they react with your body, for a person to be a good cook. And a healthy cook. Kudos to the people who figured out that they could sell instant mashed potatoes in a pouch, but sometimes I wonder how many people consider the health implications of such products compared to the real thing.

At the very least, it's super cool to know about. Think of all the people you'll impress when you tell them exactly what went into their lightly toasted everything bagel.

Stuff of Happy

The best kind of happy is the kind you get from opening a can of cat food.

Soft, foamy peaks...

There should be a course just on whipping egg whites. This has to be the most challenging thing I've ever done with cooking. And that says something. I pride myself when it comes to things I cook, even though it's kind of hit-and-miss when it comes to edibility. Not being able to properly whip egg whites just makes me sad.

If you can make those fluffy peaks I'm always hearing about, then you are a god. And that's all there is to it.

(Insert Name Here)

When I made this, I planned on using it more. I haven't abandoned it or anything (not that I ever really started), but I probably won't start using it more frequently anytime soon. Oh well~

For this post, I feel compelled to talk about fishies.

Okay, well, that fish is a robot. I'm talking about real fish. Specifically the kind that live under thick sheets of ice for months at a time. Didn't you ever wonder how they don't die?

Here in sunny Florida, it's been roughly 35F-40F all week, which is quite the shock to those avid beach goers. The snowbirds are probably thinking that they should have stayed up North. Except we don't have any snow.

But back to the fish thing.

There are actually a bunch of different ways the little masterminds avoid becoming popsicles.

Suppose you have a freshwater lake. In this case, we'll focus on the Physics of it. Typically, things expand as you heat them and contract when you cool them. Water, however, likes to be special. It does this weird parabola thing when you change the temperature.

Basically, that graph says that water is most dense at 4C. So the water acts normally, getting more dense as it's cooled (why ice makes your water bottles stretch out). But it stops getting more dense at 4C. For the fish, this is a very good thing. Imagine, if you would, a lake.

With fish in it.
Now it starts to get colder. Say the lake is completely at a temperature of 5C in the beginning.
Fish are a little chilly, but hey, it's the burden of a fish life. Then that top layer of water gets cooled to 4C. What happens? It's denser than it was at 5C. So it sinks to the bottom.
(The fish know it's beginning)

SO the veeeery bottom of the lake is at 4C. This process keeps happening until the ENTIRE lake is at 4C. But then what? The top layer gets cooled to 3C. But since it's less dense than the rest of the water, according to our lovely parabola, that water stays up on top. Slooowly, that layer cools the next layer and that layer cools the next layer and so on. Then, once the top layer reaches 0C, the freezing point of water, the top of the lake freezes. At that point, though, the water at the bottom of the lake is still 4C.

And so the fish get to not freeze.

In places like the Artic, where the fish ARE swimming in water below freezing point (because salt water can do that and not freeze), different stuff happens. Apparently, some of these fish have natural anti-freeze in their blood. From what I understand, it's actually some protein (insert name here) covered in sugar.

Everything is manipulated to keep the fishies happy.

Yup. Trufax.